19 November 2007

Attraction isn't a choice...

I had an interesting conversation with a guy a few weeks ago. He said: "Attraction isn't logical and it isn't a choice. What a person says they want and who they are actually attracted to are two different things. We aren't attracted to someone because it makes sense or the person is smart or rich."
After this conversation, I started conducting research on the subject of attraction. Now, you would think that I would ask family and friends who have been attracted to someone else, but instead I started my research on the internet. Wikipedia is one amazing site. With the click of the mouse, I can change history. Most of the information I found supported this guys thought that attraction isn't a choice. As I studied, I felt that every argument for their case(whoever they are) was a contradiction and seemed to support the notion that attraction is a choice.
Perhaps, attraction should be defined before one can decide if it is a choice. Merriam-webster defines attraction as "a force acting mutually between particles of matter, tending to draw them together, and resisting their separation." After my research on the world wide web, I sat down and assessed attraction. Did I choose to be attracted to Griffin Bio from freshman biology in college? Was it his amazing blue eyes? His knowledge of biological terms or was I naturally and involuntarily attracted to him?
So I turn to you, my fellow bloggers. I'd love to hear what you think-Is attraction a choice? Person(s) with the best or most interesting answers may be rewarded.

8 comments:

King Fairbanks said...

The Kings says that it goes both ways. ive noticed that while you are with someone that they just seem to be getting better and better. This conversation can take place some other time.

*MILLY* said...

I think there is a bit of both.

I think over time you choose the things that you "look" for in someone. You set bondaries and decide what is beautiful...blue eyes or brown. I think the way you are are raised can also mold your attraction and things that have happened in your life.

So every decision you made, the way you choose to deal with things and so many things effect how you view other people in life. The TV shows you watch, the movies, the entertainment. So while it may seem like it is not a choice...you did choose at one point and that choice lead you to what you consider attractive....whether looks, personality, spirituality or all or none.

A STAR is born said...

Heck no, man! If it's really a choice, explain to me why McCall kisses Rollin, I remain fixated on some sort of male model with little redeeming value,and some people just have a hold on you that you can't explain. It's biological.
Attraction is involuntary; Love is the choice.

SHELLS BELLS! said...

I am laughing as I recall the bruised lip! Thanks for the insight Stef.

Lohra said...

Yeah, I agree. How many times have you heard someone say, "He's great, I wish I was interested."? I imagine that's how people feel about me most of the time. Or maybe I'm the one doomed to apathy.

Suedles said...

attraction is involuntary. chemistry, biology, whatever it may be, there are always phyical qualities that attract one person to another. after that, personality is probably the determining factor on whether you continue the pursuit.

Britters said...

Andi and I agree that the initial attraction is, shall we say, less than voluntary. But it can evolve into something deeper should it be pursued. It can also evolve into something less than attraction. Some people are no longer attractive once we get to know them. The pursuit is the choice. I'm not sure the outcome is as much of a choice. Who knows? This subject begs further research...

Christoph said...

All I know is your photograph is attractive and I didn't choose that to be the case.